The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Project Planet?

Posted on July 20, 2006 Written by The Nittany Turkey

I know I told you that I would be on vacation, but I can’t help writing about something that has titillated me for quite a while. I was reminded of it this evening when I finally got my hotel room (quite an adventure in itself, as the dyslexic desk clerk transposed two digits of the room number, sending me to the erroneous one with a key to match, much to the chagrined surprise of the room’s real occupants—but I digress). Letting myself into my room I instantly spotted the placard on the pillow. There it was—the thinly veiled attempt by the hotel’s management to save labor, water, and detergent costs while convincing us that through our valiant compliance with the “program” we’re saving the planet from an imminent environmental disaster. Yes, my faithful readers, it was the dreaded Project Planet guilt card!

Change the Sheets

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Filed Under: General Tagged With: Humor

A Break from the Heat

Posted on July 18, 2006 Written by The Nittany Turkey

This Turkey will be on vacation from July 20 to July 31.

My safari will take me to Lion country (Nittany variety). I shall prostrate myself before the Paterno statue and atone for all the negative gibes I have slung in his direction past, present and future (that he may continue to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune to which he frequently alludes).

I leave The Nittany Turkey in the capable hands of The Redhead, confident that she will write whatever soothing, informative, or inflammatory words she sees fit to write, and that she will deflect any lawsuits that my published excoriations might precipitate in my absence.

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Filed Under: General, Penn State Football

Almost Famous

Posted on July 10, 2006 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Road Wise Guy

Well, not really. The Orlando Sentinel went to the trouble of sending a photographer out on location to shoot some pictures of me looking pissed off standing next to a road sign. The picture was supposed to have been published in today’s paper on page Z-98, just ahead of the feature on collectable Chia Pets, and it would have documented a complaint I sent to the Road Wise column. The words were, in fact, published; but the picture was not. So, let me rectumfy that for those of you who I told would see my picture in today’s paper, particularly if you threw fifty cents away on a copy of the Sentinel.

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Filed Under: General Tagged With: Humor

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Whodat Turkey?

The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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