The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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PS4RS candidates win; Suhey, Deviney out

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Alumni discontent with the Penn State Board of Trustees culminated in the election of the slate of candidates recommended by Penn Staters for Responsible Stewardship (PS4RS). That organization has arduously campaigned to purge the BoT of those who bungled the Sandusky scandal, the NCAA sanctions, and the Paterno firing. The alumni definitely won this round.

Barbara Doran, Ted Brown, and Bill Oldsey won in a landslide. Meanwhile, alums voted out incumbents Stephanie Deviney and Paul Suhey.

In January, Ken Frazier nominated Deviney as Vice Chair. How did that work out? She’ll serve in that capacity until her term ends — which is soon. Looking at her Penn State trustee blog gave me an idea of her self-promotion, but the following sentence confounded me:

Now, my second strength (which I’ve gotten a little slack for) is the ability to “win others over” affectionately referred to as “woo”.

Not only is the sentence structure awkward, particularly for a litigator, but also the last time I heard about something referred to as “woo” was in the Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan classic flop Joe versus the Volcano.

Steve Suhey played football for the Nittany Lions and was a shoo-in for the BoT when he initially ran. However, he continually sided with the element regarded by PS4RS as tyrannical, which did him in.

Karen Peetz,  the “laser focus on the future of the university” babe who resigned as Chair, will remain the Business and Industry representative on the board. At least she won’t be in a position to be quoted much. She is president of BNY Mellon.

There is still much work to be done to whip this board into shape, but for the moment, at least, PS4RS has performed as those of us who supported the organization hoped that it would.

 

They’re a bunch of f***ers!

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Everybody in the sports world who watched Penn State head football coach Bill O’Brien’s comments on national TV after last season’s victory over Wisconsin knows exactly what he said: “They’re a bunch of flowers.” No, seriously, he said “f**kers”, but he later denied it, stating that he really said “fighters”. The controversy lingers on, but both O’Brien and his fellow coaches were able to find humor in the incident during this year’s Coaches’ Caravan.

First, to refresh your aural memory, here’s the O’Brien post-game interview.

Now, for the retrospective on this purported faux pas with hilarious comments by PSU wrestling coach Cael Sanderson and a “let’s clear something up” quasi-rebuttal by O’Brien, check out this video coverage of the Coaches’ Caravan by Pennlive.com.

Yeah, he said “f**kers” and even his mom knows it!

******

Many of you have wondered where the hell this turkey has been for the past month or so, inasmuch as my previously prolific postings have thinned out to a penurious puddle of previously posted poo-poo. And, hell, I didn’t even comment on the Blue-White game or the NFL Draft. Whazzzup wit dat?

I’ll get to that forthwith, but first, a couple of comments about both of those things I ignored.

The Blue-White game was, as always, a showcase for fans who are starved for football, but, of course, it is essentially meaningless entertainment. Did it clarify the quarterback shuffle? No. After the game, Steven Bench had a talk with Coach O’Brien and, feeling slighted when BoB told him straight that he would play a backup role, declared his intent to bolt. Mississippi State and USF were said to be possible transfer targets for him. F**ker! Meanwhile, Christian Hackenberg and Tyler Ferguson seem to be the contenders for the job. Couple of f**kers!

O’Brien treats his f**kers like men, like NFL players. In the words of the late Howard Cosell, he tells it like it is. If they don’t like what they hear, too bad. F**kers!

One conclusion I drew from the game (and I haven’t even read anyone else’s coverage of it to determine whether anyone agrees with me) is that Jesse James is the guy the damn offense will hinge upon. I wasn’t terribly impressed with any aspect of the ground game, and you know how O’Brien likes those tight ends! F**kers!  (Yeah, I know. I’m always a day late and a dollar short.)

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. That oft-abused Sergio Leone spaghetti western title comes to mind, so like any other putrid hack journalist, I’ll give it a go. Doesn’t really work here. Nothing really bad happened during the annual spring scrimmage, but there sure as hell was something ugly! Y’know, even high school girls can routinely make extra points. Sam Ficken had the ugliest bunch of kicks since the Follies Bergère parody at the Happy Days Rest Home.  Whazzzup wit dat? It reminded me of his start last season, only worse. Having been pressed into service as the top kicker due to Anthony Fera’s departure, he got some leeway, and he improved greatly as the season wore on. However, his gains in accuracy and all-around kicking ability seem to have mysteriously departed during the long, cold winter. Critics were quickly silenced last year due to the situation Penn State was in. This year there won’t be any honeymoon. Those skills, such as they are, better return!  F**ker!

And now, the Draft. Defensive tackle Jordan Hill was our top draftee, going to Seattle in the third round. Linebacker Gerald Hodges also went in the third round, to Minnesota. Mike Mauti was disappointingly (for some) selected in the seventh round, also by Minnesota. Cornerback Stephon Morris and center Matt Stankiewitch were eligible, but were not drafted. In this turkey’s opinion, Mauti has the greatest upside potential but he also is a huge risk for any NFL team. He is a tremendous emotional leader, has a fine collection of skills, impressed the hell out of people with his pre-draft performance in spite of his injury, and he is an NFL legacy. NFL scouts were not particularly impressed with his east-west pursuit skills, but he’s still NFL material if — and it’s a big if — his oft-injured knee can return to full functionality and stay healthy. But he’s sure a f**ker!

Speaking of health issues, we’re back to the turkey. I’ve had a bit of neuritis that hasn’t seriously debilitated me physically, but it has thrown my writing schedule off-kilter. (What the hell is a kilter, anyway? Can one get back on-kilter?) It’s really hard to write when I’m pissed off at my body for letting me down. However, the show must go on. This nerve ailment is a long-term thing, and it is my hope that I’ll outlast it. In the meanwhile, I recognize that it ain’t all about me! By wallowing in the mire of self-pity, I’m not doing myself or anyone else any good. Besides, writing has always been therapeutic for me. I could indeed write in a vacuum, but I am blessed to have a small collection of stalwart readers out there who put up with my autistic rambling. That not only makes me happy, but also it keeps me going when the going gets rough. And you know how I love to hate sportswriter clichés!

So, here I am. Don’t know when I’ll write next, but I just wanted to let you all know — or by this time, let you both know — that I haven’t gone away. Here’s hoping that I can get my ass into high gear before the season starts, you bunch of f**kers!

McQueary Suit Will Proceed

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All anyone can talk about, think about, write about, or whatever is the Spring Game, but since I don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, I’ll change the subject to Mike McQueary. I don’t know what I’m talking about there, either, but the subject is worth trying to pin a tail on a donkey or something.

Erstwhile Penn State assistant football coach Mike McQueary’s whistle-blower lawsuit filed with the help of SEC whistleblower lawyers against his former employer will proceed,  ruled Judge Thomas Gavin on Tuesday.

The good judge felt that the suit made sufficient claims of “outrageous conduct” by Penn State, and gave the University 20 days to file a response.

Spokesmen for both the university and McQueary remained mum on Tuesday as newshounds hounded them for news.

What’s in a name? Well, McQueary’s lawyer either cheats on his golf scorecard or engages in onanism, as his name is Strokoff.

Big Red bases his case on a press release just as the Sandusky scandal was breaking by then president Graham Spanier. In it, Spanier expressed support for Curley and Schultz, dismissing the charge of perjury against them and implying that McQueary’s testimony was a lie. McQueary alleges that the university made him personna non grata in State College, isolating him from his established base of friends and colleagues.

What’s worse is who in the hell would ever hire McQueary after all the crap he’s been through? McQueary has got to be viewed as being a pariah wherever he goes, for God knows how long. Of course, this lawsuit won’t serve to reduce his notoriety any.  You’ve got to wonder where this thing will end up.