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Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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Traffic Cone Donovan Smith Opts Out

Posted on December 29, 2014 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Donovan Smith to Enter 2015 NFL Draft

So, just when you were finding new hope for the 2015 season for Penn State, we find that Donovan Smith, universally regarded as the best of the Five Traffic Cones (aka the 2014 Penn State offensive line), will forego his final season at the University.

I think it’s a good idea. The offensive line continues to be a rebuilding project, and it shouldn’t improve significantly in 2015. If Smith were to hang around, his NFL value would probably be reduced by association with the work in progress.

 

The official PSU Athletic Department media release follows. [Read more…]

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Filed Under: Penn State Football Tagged With: Donovan Smith, NFL Draft

They’re a bunch of f***ers!

Posted on May 4, 2013 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Everybody in the sports world who watched Penn State head football coach Bill O’Brien’s comments on national TV after last season’s victory over Wisconsin knows exactly what he said: “They’re a bunch of flowers.” No, seriously, he said “f**kers”, but he later denied it, stating that he really said “fighters”. The controversy lingers on, but both O’Brien and his fellow coaches were able to find humor in the incident during this year’s Coaches’ Caravan.

First, to refresh your aural memory, here’s the O’Brien post-game interview.

Now, for the retrospective on this purported faux pas with hilarious comments by PSU wrestling coach Cael Sanderson and a “let’s clear something up” quasi-rebuttal by O’Brien, check out this video coverage of the Coaches’ Caravan by Pennlive.com.

Yeah, he said “f**kers” and even his mom knows it!

******

Many of you have wondered where the hell this turkey has been for the past month or so, inasmuch as my previously prolific postings have thinned out to a penurious puddle of previously posted poo-poo. And, hell, I didn’t even comment on the Blue-White game or the NFL Draft. Whazzzup wit dat?

I’ll get to that forthwith, but first, a couple of comments about both of those things I ignored.

The Blue-White game was, as always, a showcase for fans who are starved for football, but, of course, it is essentially meaningless entertainment. Did it clarify the quarterback shuffle? No. After the game, Steven Bench had a talk with Coach O’Brien and, feeling slighted when BoB told him straight that he would play a backup role, declared his intent to bolt. Mississippi State and USF were said to be possible transfer targets for him. F**ker! Meanwhile, Christian Hackenberg and Tyler Ferguson seem to be the contenders for the job. Couple of f**kers!

O’Brien treats his f**kers like men, like NFL players. In the words of the late Howard Cosell, he tells it like it is. If they don’t like what they hear, too bad. F**kers!

One conclusion I drew from the game (and I haven’t even read anyone else’s coverage of it to determine whether anyone agrees with me) is that Jesse James is the guy the damn offense will hinge upon. I wasn’t terribly impressed with any aspect of the ground game, and you know how O’Brien likes those tight ends! F**kers!  (Yeah, I know. I’m always a day late and a dollar short.)

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. That oft-abused Sergio Leone spaghetti western title comes to mind, so like any other putrid hack journalist, I’ll give it a go. Doesn’t really work here. Nothing really bad happened during the annual spring scrimmage, but there sure as hell was something ugly! Y’know, even high school girls can routinely make extra points. Sam Ficken had the ugliest bunch of kicks since the Follies Bergère parody at the Happy Days Rest Home.  Whazzzup wit dat? It reminded me of his start last season, only worse. Having been pressed into service as the top kicker due to Anthony Fera’s departure, he got some leeway, and he improved greatly as the season wore on. However, his gains in accuracy and all-around kicking ability seem to have mysteriously departed during the long, cold winter. Critics were quickly silenced last year due to the situation Penn State was in. This year there won’t be any honeymoon. Those skills, such as they are, better return!  F**ker!

And now, the Draft. Defensive tackle Jordan Hill was our top draftee, going to Seattle in the third round. Linebacker Gerald Hodges also went in the third round, to Minnesota. Mike Mauti was disappointingly (for some) selected in the seventh round, also by Minnesota. Cornerback Stephon Morris and center Matt Stankiewitch were eligible, but were not drafted. In this turkey’s opinion, Mauti has the greatest upside potential but he also is a huge risk for any NFL team. He is a tremendous emotional leader, has a fine collection of skills, impressed the hell out of people with his pre-draft performance in spite of his injury, and he is an NFL legacy. NFL scouts were not particularly impressed with his east-west pursuit skills, but he’s still NFL material if — and it’s a big if — his oft-injured knee can return to full functionality and stay healthy. But he’s sure a f**ker!

Speaking of health issues, we’re back to the turkey. I’ve had a bit of neuritis that hasn’t seriously debilitated me physically, but it has thrown my writing schedule off-kilter. (What the hell is a kilter, anyway? Can one get back on-kilter?) It’s really hard to write when I’m pissed off at my body for letting me down. However, the show must go on. This nerve ailment is a long-term thing, and it is my hope that I’ll outlast it. In the meanwhile, I recognize that it ain’t all about me! By wallowing in the mire of self-pity, I’m not doing myself or anyone else any good. Besides, writing has always been therapeutic for me. I could indeed write in a vacuum, but I am blessed to have a small collection of stalwart readers out there who put up with my autistic rambling. That not only makes me happy, but also it keeps me going when the going gets rough. And you know how I love to hate sportswriter clichés!

So, here I am. Don’t know when I’ll write next, but I just wanted to let you all know — or by this time, let you both know — that I haven’t gone away. Here’s hoping that I can get my ass into high gear before the season starts, you bunch of f**kers!

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Filed Under: Penn State Football Tagged With: Bill O'Brien, Blue-White game, NFL Draft

Four Lions Drafted by NFL

Posted on April 29, 2012 Written by The Nittany Turkey

Penn State, like most of the other Big Ten programs, was only fair ta middlin’ in the NFL Draft. Wisconsin provided one player for each of the first six rounds to tie for tops in the conference with Michigan State. Iowa had five, including one first-rounder, while four selections tied the Nittany Lions with Ohio State, Nebraska, and Illinois (although Illinois had two first-rounders and two seconds), followed by Michigan with three, and both Purdue and Northwestern with two. Indiana and Minnesota… well… the big ZERO.

Defensive Tackle Devon Still was projected by many pundits to be a first-round pick; however, he wound up being chosen toward the bottom of the second round, as fifty-third overall pick. He will be an important component of the Cincinnati Bengals’ rebuilding program. The Bengals had a very successful draft and should be a contender in the AFC North.

Johnnie Troutman and Jack Crawford were 14th and 23rd picks, respectively, in the fifth round, with Troutman going to San Diego and Crawford joining former teammate Stefen Wisniewski in Oakland. Nate Stupar was chosen by Oakland as well, 23rd pick in the seventh round. (Mr. Irrelevant was the 46th pick this year, Chandler Harnish, QB from Northern Illinois, chosen by the Indianapolis Colts. No doubt, Andrew Luck is quaking in his size 15 boots.)

Undrafted were D’anton Lynn, Eric Latimore, Joe Suhey, Chaz Powell, Stephfon Green, Quinn Barham, Derek Moye, Drew Astorino, and Nick Sukay. Nick Sukay has been picked up by the Buffalo Bills as an undrafted free agent (UFA). Andrew Szczerba, who was not even on my draft list, was signed by the Dallas Cowboys. Quinn Barham, who is so obscure that his first name was listed as “Sam” on the NFL site, was signed by the Detroit Lions. Finally, Eric Latimore went to the Minnesota Vikings.

That leaves Lynn, Suhey, Powell, Green, Moye, and Astorino. They are still chances that someone will take a chance on them as UFA’s, but it would be best if they brush up on their life insurance underwriter exams in any case.

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Filed Under: Penn State Football Tagged With: NFL Draft, undrafted free agents

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Whodat Turkey?

The Nittany Turkey is a retired techno-geek who thinks he knows something about Penn State football and everything else in the world. If there's a topic, we have an opinion on it, and you know what "they" say about opinions! Most of what is posted here involves a heavy dose of hip-shooting conjecture, but unlike some other blogs, we don't represent it as fact. Read More…

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