Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Pre-season polls are generally not worth the paper they’re written on. (Or the electrons, or magnetized particles, or whatever the hell…). The AP Poll, conducted among sportswriters, is no exception. However, in Penn State’s case, although they’re typically wrong, being ranked highly in the pre-season tends to portend a disappointing season. [Read more…]
Hello, my six devoted readers! It’s time to kick off yet another Penn State football season, the fourteenth since the inception of this blog. With this turkey’s sparkling prediction track record in mind, I’m certain that you are all awaiting this season’s prognostications with bated breath (or baited, as the case may be, for those of you with fishy breath). [Read more…]
Today, we received the sad news that Joey “Big Toe” Julius is no longer with the Penn State football program.
Joey Julius was one of our favorite guys to watch. The kickoff specialist would launch booming kicks at the enemy, then charge down the field like a Sherman tank to meet the hapless kick returner. The resulting bone-jarring collisions assuaged all of our need for vicarious vindication.
Julius had been suffering from eating disorders all along. He did not practice with the team this spring, and he is now off the roster.
Goodbye, Big Toe, and thanks for all the thrills! We hope and pray that you will conquer your disorder with the same zeal with which you conquered enemy kick returners. Sayonara!
