Joey Julius Gone

Today, we received the sad news that Joey “Big Toe” Julius is no longer with the Penn State football program.

Joey Julius was one of our favorite guys to watch. The kickoff specialist would launch booming kicks at the enemy, then charge down the field like a Sherman tank to meet the hapless kick returner. The resulting bone-jarring collisions assuaged all of our need for vicarious vindication.

Julius had been suffering from eating disorders all along. He did not practice with the team this spring, and he is now off the roster.

Goodbye, Big Toe, and thanks for all the thrills! We hope and pray that you will conquer your disorder with the same zeal with which you conquered enemy kick returners. Sayonara!