David Cook

It Ain’t Over ’til It’s Over

May 20, 2008 Television

Despite the optimistic headline, which I purloined from Yogi Berra, David Cook better be hoping that a veritable shitload of 9-13 year-old voters suddenly develop osteoarthritis of the dialing fingers. Otherwise, he’ll be subjected to yet another of my purloined vapid aphorisms: If you ain’t first, you’re last. (Attribution to Ricky Bobby for that one.)

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The Voice vs. The Edge

May 20, 2008 Television

American Idol has boiled down to leave two men standing, and one stretches the masculinity point, as he has not yet started to shave. It will be pop versus rock, “The Voice” versus “The Edge,” David Archuleta versus David Cook. Chief Justice Simon Cowell predicts that the final competition this week will be “a humdinger.”

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Justice is Served

May 8, 2008 Television

This Turkey can watch American Idol sober next week! America voted and this time America agreed with the Foul Fowl. Jason Castro, whose act had deteriorated to badder than bad over the past four or five weeks, was mercifully eliminated from the competition, leaving just three good players and two good weeks of spirited, singing ass off performances.

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