The Nittany Turkey is proud to be last on the scene once again as he reports that Penn State will play LSU in the Capital One Bowl on January 1. By this time, most of you have already bought your tickets and made your travel plans. That is good, so I won’t have to apologize for my late delivery of the news we pretty much knew all along. ????? ??? ????
The good old BCS hyped the Penn State vs Iowa who-gets-in? hubbub all the way to the end by keeping lips sealed about the damn thing. Ultimately, however, justice prevailed, sending Iowa to the Orange Bowl and leaving Penn State out. That’s good, because I have to believe that the Nittany Lions would have had trouble with the 1968 offense of the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. Not good for the administration, who are crying in their pabulum about losing all that moolah.
Nevertheless, this Turkey thinks that things settled out pretty well. Alabama and Texas will play each other to decide the Still Somewhat Mythical So-Called National Championship (SSMSCNC), while Gator Nation wonders whether they should trade a draft pick to the Minnesota Vikings for Percy Harvin.
Now, don’t you all feel silly for having wasted your time speculating about possible bowl berths for endless hours for the last few weeks? Did any of your ruminations, machinations, and masturbation change anything? ???? ??? ???? ?????
Now that match-ups have been decided and bids are out, I think I’ll have to do some bowl predictions here as this month progresses. How else are you going to figure out whom to bet on? You could go to some of the less facetious, unsarcastic sources on the Internet, or you could throw darts at a labeled dartboard bought from 1 Hattrick, but you will not find the Turkey’s words anywhere but here. When you rely on those other sources, you receive no compassion when you lose. ??? ???? ??? ???? Not so, the Turkey. Being so used to making incorrect predictions had mellowed me out. When you lose with my predictions, I’ll give you the full benefit of my sympathy. In advance.
Just when are the media going to shift from counting how many women Tiger Woods has slept with to how many women he hasn’t slept with? I’m going to have to ask Jenny if he’s been there. Maybe we can figure out a way to get some of his money.
Of course, Nero fiddles with Tiger Woods and his peccadilloes while Rome burns. And boy, is Rome burning. While we idiots spend all this time and column space worrying about who Tiger screwed and who will win which inconsequential bowl game, Washington and the world are conspiring against our freedom. The misguided liberals are about to get what they’ve wanted all along. So don’t get caught up in this bowl crap and in Tiger Woods’ babewise trophy case. Devote that energy to thwarting something that will screw all of us if we let it happen.
Global warming is a fraud. (Or are we supposed to call it “climate change” now, because it could never explain why the planet was actually cooling with anything more than a hand wave.) Who knew? Certainly not Al Gore — it would endanger his book proceeds and carbon offset profits. But everybody in Copenhagen knows about that. The deal there is that the tin pots of the world will suck out big bucks from the US and the rest of the civilized, prosperous world. We’ll wind up sucking hind tit.
I’m thinking that health care reform will cost us more money than we have. Our friends in congress are salivating over controlling 18% of the U.S. economy. One senate schmuck even wrote an amendment that establishes control of insurance companies’ CEO salaries. How the hell do we let this government grab of private enterprise happen? Wake up, people!
Now that I’ve confused you by injecting my impertinent opinions on hot-button current events issues, I’ll return to the subject at hand. I intend to look further into the Penn State vs. LSU situation as the month progresses, assuming that too many other activities don’t get in the way. You never know this time of year. We could have a Tiger Woods emergency or something. LSU doesn’t have much of an offense, so Penn State has a chance to make a statement that a third-rate Big Ten team can beat a third-rate SEC team. Oy, such a statement!
I’ve got to get ready for lunch now.
Jenny Nelms says
Tiger and I never hit it off, possibly due to the fact that the only intelligent thing I ever said about golf was “Change the channel.” The only way I’ll ever get any of his money is if he hires me as a nanny for his kids. But I’m not available to babysit on Jan1.
The Nittany Turkey says
You better … or else!!
and remember-china will be monitoring their own emissions and will release a report detailing them in which their results will not be subject to inspection thankyouverymuchnothingtoseehere. expect india to do the same.
it’s absolutely incredible watching global warming advocates bury their heads in the sand. that, and al gore bailed on copenhagen at the last second, which is a funny little story in itself.
speaking of the weather (horrible segue) the climate up here in DC right now is pretty panicked on the left. o sure, the leftists are denying any resistence to their government takeovers, but look at their eyes when they say this (especially reid’s). pure fear. they know if they can’t pass a health care bill or cap’n trade by next fall, they never will.
one last thing if you have the time:
31,000 scientists signed a petition supporting an independent review of climate data. mail in if you ever get the time.
and go State, and stuff.
The Nittany Turkey says
Thanks, Drozz. Will check out the petition.
Jobs created or saved… How do I tap into the $250,000 that was spent on each of those?
The Nittany Turkey says
Oh, and you who guessed it are all correct. As football season wanes, the Turkey tends to start writing about his frustration with politics and other travesties.