You’d think that with as light an approach as I take toward the serious business of Penn State football, I would have published some kind of spoof here in honor of this sacred holy day for jokers. But I’m in no mood to write something funny.
Maybe I would find humor in the Zayd Issah caper? Nah, it just pisses me off that bright people with a real future find it desirable to fuck up their lives in exchange for a few bucks. And all that cholesterol at McDonald’s — what good can come of that? Not to mention that the denomination in question, a double sawbuck, has long proven to be unprofitable for counterfeiters. The kid is clearly an idiot.
Or perhaps I could find something funny to exploit with respect to the Penn State Board of Trustees. Shit, that group is downright depressing! They’d fuck up a wet dream.
Casey Anthony has asked the court for permission to reap proceeds from a book with her story. Kill your daughter and make a career out of writing about it. That’s not funny at all.
How about politics? Obama? Watching our wealth slip away? Governmental overreach? More depression. Perhaps Obama will use sequestration as an excuse to ban sex. Hit the people where it hurts to prove his point that Republicans are assholes. Huh???
Sidney Crosby is out indefinitely with a broken jaw due to a 90 mph puck fired at his face. The Pens have won 15 in a row, and Crosby is a large part of that. Letang and Martin are also hurt. Oy. No reason for levity there.
I seriously need some humor, but I can’t find any. Can you readers point out any quality April Fools spoofs that will elevate my mood? I’m sure you’ve had to come across some good stuff. Please do your therapeutic best for this turkey.