The Nittany Turkey

Primarily about Penn State football, this is a tale told by idiots, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

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TURKEY FLASH: Sandusky Arrested, Curley Charged with Perjury!

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Accused pervert and former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was arrested today in Centre County, Pennsylvania. Athletic Director Tim Curley and vice president for business and finance Gary Schultz were expected to turn themselves in today. They have allegedly failed to report and misrepresented facts in the ongoing investigation of Sandusky, who has allegedly molested up to 40 underage boys. Head coach Joe Paterno is not being charged.

Schultz’s position puts him in charge of the University Police Department.

Sandusky retired kind of suddenly in 1999, ostensibly to spend time with his family and devote himself to the The Second Mile, an organization he founded in 1977 in which he worked with young boys. He was given an office at the university after his retirement and frequently brought Second Mile children there.

In 2002, a graduate assistant in the football program walked in on Sandusky taking a shower with a young boy. He reported the incident, which resulted in a ban on Sandusky bringing Second Mile kids to the campus, but no action against Sandusky. It was not reported to the police by administration officials.

The Patriot-News has extensive, continuing coverage of Sandusky developments.

Paterno Truly Welcome Back in 2011?

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The words of AD Tim Curley in response to Joe Paterno’s declaration that he’ll return to the sidelines to coach in 2011 might suggest that the administration doesn’t quite feel the same way.

“We’re glad to hear of Coach Paterno’s excitement for next season. We share his optimism about the team’s potential, and look forward to our annual postseason discussion with Coach Paterno about next year.”

Sort of sounds like what you would tell someone who called you about a recommendation for someone you recently canned, doesn’t it? Don’t say anything for which you can later be held accountable. Waffle, waffle, waffle — IHOP should produce as many! Joe’s superiors are not looking forward to his return, just to the post-season discussion. Not much to look forward to there. They already know the script. Joe tells them what he’ll be doing and they congratulate him.

There might be nothing to it at all. Curley, after all, represents the administration on this issue, one that at least officially has not been decided yet. President Spanier and the Board of Trustees haven’t had time to weigh in on the subject, either, since Paterno opened his mouth. Lacking an official position by the university, Curley couldn’t publicly confirm or deny Paterno’s return. He squirmed like a man put on the spot.

Paterno had no reason not to say what he said. His contract extends through next year, so why wouldn’t he be looking forward to coaching the team? Viewed in this light, Curley’s equivocation could be meaningful, because the BOT, Spanier, and he all know about Joe’s contract.

Frankly, I think Curley is being coy just because he is a mealy-mouthed administrator in CYA Mode, and it is merely rumor mongering to read between the lines.

Our rampant speculation leading up to last year’s annual post-season discussion was defused when the three-year contract was announced. Paterno’s situation did not come up again until the summer, when he battled an intestinal virus that led to weight loss, cancelled speeches, and general observable debilitation, leading to speculation — at least by one reporter — that the venerable head coach might not even make it through the season. Once the 2010 season kicked off, much of that unfounded speculation was laid to rest. After the unexpected loss to Illinois, the drums grew louder once again. A couple of wins muted them a bit. Now, as usual after a worse than expected season, the “Joe Must Go” crowd, the reporters who must invent news to keep readers interested, and this Turkey are recontemplating our respective navels while formulating scenarios for Paterno’s demise as head coach and choosing his subsequent replacement. Given that there have been innumerable false alarms dating back to even before the dreaded “Dark Years”, it is certainly possible that those who see significance in Curley’s careful evasion will be disappointed once again.

I can’t take credit for unearthing Curley’s quote and perhaps overreacting to it. Phil Mushnick of the New York Post did that on Sunday. You can decide whether Curley is sending a signal by what he didn’t say. Read his take here.

Tim Curley: PSU’s Professor Irwin Corey

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You know who Tim Curley is, but do you know Professor Irwin Corey? The good professor is actually a stand-up comedian from days of yore whose act centered around bombastic, double-talking diatribe about anything and everything and who billed himself as “The World’s Foremost Authority.” Nothing he said ever made much sense, but his impassioned speeches seemed perfectly reasonable if you didn’t listen to the words very carefully. Professor Corey is in his 90s and still doing the occasional performance.

“If we don’t change direction soon, we’ll end up where we’re going.” —Professor Irwin Corey

But I digress. Penn State Athletic Director Tim Curley was quoted recently in a nebulous Associated Press story about Joe Paterno meeting with President Graham Spanier sometime in the future to discuss paths forward on the head coaching situation at PSU. No kidding? Who knew! Anyhow, AP’s reporter had to talk to someone about this non-momentous non-news; they knew better than to bother Paterno and Spanier wouldn’t say much, so they got Curley. He’s always available, although he rarely says anything of real import.

I’m not going to discuss the crap about the meeting that was covered in the AP article. It means nothing and you can read it for yourself, if you want, here. What I will blow off about here is that Curley must have flunked 6th grade English and then later must have enrolled in a remedial course at the Alan Greenspan School of Obfuscated Lucidity. Let me present a few Curley quotes from the article and propose some interpretations.

Referring to Paterno’s contract extension or lack of same:

“I just don’t want to say anything until I’ve had the opportunity to talk to him about the subject. We’ve talked about some other things, but haven’t had a chance to zero in on that.”

Meaning: “I’m waiting for a signal from Joe that will tell me what I should say. We talked about me keeping my job here if I don’t make Joe mad.”

And about the need for a succession plan:

“Good planning requires we do that in all sports, in the back of your mind, you have a backup plan in place. It wouldn’t be something that I’d want to state publicly what I’d be thinking, but hopefully a good manager has that in their hip pocket.”

Meaning: “I won’t have a clue as to what’s going to happen until Joe tells me what he is going to do.”

And, finally, in response to a question about the off-field criminal woes of recent seasons:

“I am very confident we have our arms around it and as we proceed that they don’t happen in the future. And if they do, they happen in a minimal situation.”

Meaning: “We don’t have the slightest idea what to do about it. Don’t be surprised if you see some more stories. In fact, I’ll be hiring [convicted murderer and ex-Nittany Lion] Lavon Chisley under the work-release program as my new defensive line coach when Larry Johnson leaves.”

Is it unreasonable for me to expect an athletic director at Penn State to be somewhat more articulate than that? To be more purposeful with his prose? After all, he works at a university; he’s not in competition with Miss Teenage South Carolina (“I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some-a people out there in our nation don’t have maps…”).

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