Aww, what the hell. As long as the dissin’ has started, we might as well tell our favorite Aggie jokes. Gotta do something to spark interest in this dadgum game. Turn about is fair play. If they’re going to berate our esteemed head coach because he’s old, we might as well respond in kind.
For the uninitiated, Aggie jokes in Texas are sort of the equivalent of Newfie jokes to Canadians, blonde jokes to non-Aryans, and Polack jokes to non-Polacks before we were sanitized by the brain-dead, humorless Oberleutnants of the Political Correctness Sanitization Gestapo.
Moving right along, here are a few Aggie jokes I collected from the Web. Please feel free to augment this Aggie-mocking open thread with your own Aggie jokes. Be creative! (UT fans are very welcome to post here, especially after the fluke loss to the lowly Aggies. But be careful. Aggies might retaliate about the wisdom of your coaches who run out on the field to down the ball.)
Q: Why did the Aggie get fired from the M&M factory?
A: He kept on throwing out the W’s.
A guy walks into a bar and walks up to the bartender and says, “Would you like to hear an Aggie joke?” The bartender, who was a big guy says “Now before you tell that joke take a look at that diploma, I went to Texas A&M, and you see that guy working the door, an equally large man, he went to A&M, and that guy over there playing pool well he’s an Aggie too, so now are you sure you want to tell that joke?” So the guy says “Well not anymore, I would have to explain it 3 times.”
The Aggie goes into the drug store to buy his first pack of condoms. He asks the clerk for the pack marked $2.00 on the display rack behind the counter. The clerk rings up the purchase and says, “That will be $2.12 with tax, please”, to which the Aggie responds in horror, “Tacks! My friends didn’t tell me that’s how they stay on.”
Two Aggie fans were walking through the woods when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Aggie fan said, “Those are deer tracks.” The second fan said, “No, they’re too big to be deer tracks. They must be elk tracks.” As the debate continued, they got hit by a train.
Q: Why do Aggie cheerleaders wear bibs?
A: To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.
Q: Why is ice no longer available at Aggie football games?
A: The senior who knew the recipe graduated.
Did you hear about the Aggie terrorist who tried to blow up the Longhorn team bus?
He burned his lip on the tailpipe.
An Aggie got a job at an east Texas sawmill. Just before lunch on his first day, he lost a finger. When asked how he lost it, he replied, “I just touched this big spinning thing here like thi—Damn! There goes another one!”
Q: How do you get a Texas A & M graduate off your front porch?
A: You pay for your pizza!
OK. Your turn!
How do you get three Aggie yell leaders on a barstool?
Turn it upside down!
The Nittany Turkey says
This thread went over like a lead balloon, but it was worth writing the article to get the one topical contribution above. I love it!