Iowa Hawkeyes? They’re Just Birds.

Lions Skewer Birdseyes

Late money drove the spread down to six points in some books, but the Nittany Lions didn’t get that message. #12 Penn State (7-2, 5-1 Big Ten) made Birdseyes Frozen Lima Beans out of the formerly hopeful Iowa Hawkeyes (5-4, 3-3). The final score was 41-14 in favor of the good guys.

Belief Systems

This turkey might even be starting to believe in this team, as we saw a good effort on both sides of the ball. The Mighty Moorhens of the offense racked up 599 yards, while the Perilous Prybars of the defense held the Birds’ vaunted ground attack to just 30 yards rushing.

Saquon Barkley and Trace McSorley once again were the big producers, as we have come to expect. Barkley had 211 all-purpose yards, including 167 on the ground. He scored two touchdowns. Trace McSorley was 11-18 for 240 yards and two touchdowns in the air, and he added 40 more yards and another score with his feet. Even Tommy Stevens got into the act with five carries for 70 yards and a touchdown.

Lemme give a Turkey shout-out to Mike Gesicki, who has shown steady improvement in catching the ball and doing some strong running after the catch.

They Kicked Ass

Damn near close to total domination, man! The defense sacked C.J. Beathard four times, although they went through the first half without a single sack. These half-time speeches must be classics! Jason Cabinda was a madman for the entire game, winding up with eight tackles.

Someone must have been reading my excoriations of the third down and time of possession stats, because the Nittany Lions not only doubled up on their usual, anemic third-down production, but also dominated time of possession, 35:03 to 24:57.

A most satisfying game, but be careful! Indiana next week is the big cliche trap game.

It doesn’t get any easier for the Birdseyes, as they will face Michigan next week.

I now have to believe that the west division of the Big Ten suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks. Did you happen to notice what Ohio State did to Nebraska?

I’ll be back on Monday to take a look at the Hoosiers, whatever the hell Hoosiers are.