Joe Moorhead Hired as Miss. St. HC
The Nittany Turkey’s Highly Irreverent Take on the Coaching Carousel
Anyone with half a football brain knew that Joe Moorhead was a short-timer at Penn State. His desire to be a head coach, coupled with his high-visibility, high-powered offense while serving as offensive coordinator in Happy Valley for the past two years told us we were on borrowed time with JoMo. Now, in the wake of the departure of Dan Mullen, Mississippi State has hired Moorhead as its new head coach. Happy Valley’s loss is Starkville’s gain.
I hope this means the end of the RPO. That’s my personal prejudice. No knock on Moorhead; I just never liked it. I also never liked “look at me”, so I hope the new offensive scheme at Penn State — whatever it might be and whoever might implement it — will be devoid of those two abominations. Remember, this is only my highly biased opinion, a matter of personal preference. I would love to see the damn interminable video replay delays go away, too, so football can become watchable again. Maybe I just want things simplified so a football simpleton like this turkey can actually enjoy the proceedings.
So, what would you have, Turkey? An offense where the quarterback drew up the play with a stick in the sand? Well, shit, yeah! Football was more fun back in those days! Now, half the NFL field officiating crews are lawyers — they have to be attorneys to interpret and apply the byzantine rulebook. Did you ever listen to Ed Hochuli drone on for half a minute explaining a call or why it was overturned?
Aw, shit. I digress.
I’d also like to see a functional offensive line, but you can’t have everything…
The Coaching Merry-Go-Round Continues
Florida wanted Chip Kelly, but they got Dan Mullen because UCLA got Chip Kelly to replace ousted Jim Mora. Better fit for Chip — he’s a West Coast guy — but does this mean the end of the road for PSU’s favorite former defensive coordinator, Tom Bradley? “Scrap” is in his early 60s, so he’s probably not yet ready for the Scrap heap. Meanwhile, for the Gators, lots of staff decisions must be made, with Randy Shannon being the biggest question mark as a potential player in the head coaching carousel.
It goes round…
In another WhoBeDatCoachDisWeek move, Tennessee wanted to replace Butch Jones with Greg Schiano, another coach with a Penn State past, but apparently fans and boosters make football personnel decisions in Knoxville. The UT administration changed its mind after significant backlash from the peanut gallery relating to Schiano having been an assistant at PSU during the Jerry Sandusky groping years. Although Schiano, who has been a head coach in both the NFL and NCAA, was never accused of doing any of the molestation or abetting Sandusky’s pedophilic efforts, guilt by association and an administration with no backbone lost him the Tennessee job. So, I guess “Scrap” won’t be in the running for that one!
Nebraska shitcanned Mike Riley, as expected. Now we wait. Their prime target is Scott Frost, who thus far has guided UCF to an undefeated season with only Memphis to beat to lock in that pristine record. Frost, a Nebraska native, was the Cornhuskers’ QB during a national championship run, which when combined with his head coaching record at UCF and his premier NFL coaching mentorage, is making Nebraska fans drool for him. Meanwhile, he says his priorities are his family, which very recently expanded by one.
Our old nemesis Bret Bielema, along with his AD, is gone at Arkansas. Bielema came to Arkansas during a time of turmoil following the Bobby Petrino scandal. He is best remembered as “Bulemia from Wisconsin” by the dudes in my local Penn State group.
Other programs looking for new head coaches are Arizona State, Texas A&M, Oregon State, Rice, and our friends at Kent State. This turkey has declared himself to be out of the running for those jobs, as I am waiting for the NFL opening that will result from Ben McAdoo being lynched in New York.
Who Will Replace Joe Moorhead?
The rumors will abound, no doubt, and this turkey has no idea which of them have any credence. Ricky Rahne is a name frequently mentioned, which is typical for the idiorati, as he is on the current staff. I suspect that the OC hire will come from outside the system, which I should preface with “I’m pretty sure” to indicate that I don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground. (Have you ever read Amazon reviews or Q&A about a product and seen, “I’m pretty sure that…” or better yet, “I never had this product but it looks like it would work pretty well…”, this in response to, “Will it fit in my kitchen?” But I digress.)
Forget Randy Shannon — he’s a defensive guy. I just thought I would mention that, as if playing for Jimmy Johnson during the 1987 Fiesta Bowl wasn’t enough to disqualify him.
One thing some of you worried about but I’m pretty sure is not a concern is that Brent Pry will stay on as DC for the Nittany Lione. Joe Moorhead isn’t taking him to Starkville. (By the way, the Bulldogs have a star wide receiver who places high on the list of Great Names in Football: De’Runnya Wilson, of the Da Doo Run Run Clan, a sublineage of the Doodabus.)
So, who will be Penn State’s new OC? Fucked if I know! Matt Lauer, maybe? No, I’m pretty sure it won’t be Matt Lauer.
We are now open for comments regarding staff moves. Tawk amongst yerselves. Discuss. Oy vey, I’m getting all verklempt.